Getting Proud

So yesterday for the very first time, I marched in the Chicago Gay Pride Parade. Owen and I marched with Gerber Hart Library,which he is on the board. Gerber Hart is an LGBT library and cultural center. As I told someone later,now I know what Madonna feels like. To be walking in a parade with 300,000 people cheering and applauding as you are walking is a rush I have never experienced. I know it's not about that,but it was a pretty amazing time. And being a part of something like that with Owen was really special.
This week coming up is nuts. With the exception of tonight,we have something going on every night this week. So much for sitting around watching TV all summer. And for some reason,work is also very busy,which is also great. I would rather be too busy than not at all.
I say this alot,but sometimes I look at my life and can't believe it's mine. I never thought I would have the life I have today. Having said that,I live with this fear that it will all be taken away and could be at any second. Why? Because for the first part of my life,nothing ever felt safe or real or permanent. The life I have today didn't just roll out. I knew what I wanted and worked hard to get it. I had a friend tell me today that he knows that no matter what,earthquakes,floods,car accidents,I would be there. He can depend on me. Growing up,the oldest of 6 kids, that was my job. Keep it all together. Make sure everyone,including my mom,was taken care of. My father was not around so I took on that role. I really not sure how this all connects,but I feel like that little kid alot. Still. I am the only one who can get it(whatever that "it" is) done. Take care of it.
Changing subjects,I was really sad to hear about Farrah Fawcett's passing. I was a big fan and really enjoyed her and her work. Every Wednesday night, I was in front of the TV,watching Sabrina,Kelly and Jill. I also watched her documentary in May about her cancer and treatment. It was brutal to watch,but riveting. I really admire her. She will be missed.

Brillance in writing....

I am really tired tonight,but feel the need to check in. Hi. :) I have no idea what to post about,so how about random stream of consciousness moments.

There are periods in my life where I feel very blessed.......This is one of those times..........I have a total of 5 books that I have either started or need to start and have no desire to get back into any of them.........I love,love,love those trashy Real Housewives shows......I love the heat.......Lately, I seem to be treating almost everyone in my life like a therapy patient.....Owen and I watched his favorite silent movie the other night,THE CROWD........I loved it also.......Kate Gosselin seems like a pain in the ass....I would divorce her also......I am kinda digging my job again......I made 2009 the year to pay off credit card debt....so far I have paid off half....yea!......Owen calms me......I am really trying to listen more as opposed to talking.....I have very clear memories of some things and then my mother or sisters will bring up a person,place or thing and I have no memory of it......Is that old age?.......I have never been a smoker.......I want to go to the lake house......Much of my road rage has disappeared......I never realized Cook County had a homestead exemption for your property taxes.......My dogs are snoring at the moment.....I'm done.

Post Modern Feminists?

So what do I know about feminism? Not much,but I have become increasing annoyed by the portrayal in movies by young(She's Just Not That Into You) to middle-age(Sex and the City-let's be honest) females in film. Those two movies in particular were ,in my opinion,films that attempted to portray woman as strong and independent and instead just reinforced the stereotype that woman are not complete unless there is a man in the picture.
Let me say,at the time, I was a huge fan of Sex and the City,the series. I loved it and have seen each episode a number of times. However seeing the movie,I was so offended by the lead character,Carrie Bradshaw and her behavior. Carrie and Big(her boyfriend) have broken up and gotten back numerous times. Finally,at the end of the series,HE decides she is the one and they live happily ever after. The movie picks up sometime later. Here is the short version. They are living in non marital bliss. Off the cuff they decide to get married. She plans this big wedding,he freaks out and leaves her at the altar. The rest of the film is about her trying to come back from the utter humiliation of that event with the help of her friends. Finally a year later,they see each other,she rushes into his arms and they get married. Literally this is how it plays out. He shits on her,they have no discussion about ANY OF IT. She takes him back. No questions asked. WTF!? No the lesson here is no matter how many times a guy leaves or treats you like crap,if he has a penthouse apartment and a huge closet built for your clothes,then by all means marry the jackass!
The second film on my shitlist is He's Just Not That Into You. I picked it up last night at Redbox for a dollar. In all honesty,it's a fairly funny movie that has many good moments and a great cast. Short version once more. Again we are subjected to a young woman,(Gigi Hamm,played by Big Love's Ginnifer Goodwin)fairly successful,who can't meet a good man. She seems to always pick the wrong guy. Thru out the film,her entrance into the male mind(played by Justin Long),tries to guide her in the right direction. He is also kind of dick when it comes to woman. So we spend the entire film listening to her whine and analyze(with her equally neurotic girlfriends) about how this guy did this and why doesn't this one do that. She finally decides that Justin Long is the one. Makes a move on him. He turns he down flat. She is of course devastated. Towards the end of the film she meets the nice guy (really nice),goes on one date with him and ends up with Justin Long at the door and ends up kissing him because he says all the shit she wants to hear and also because The Fray is playing that annoying Gray's Anatomy song(Don't even get me started on that show). So to summarize Gigi dumps the nice guy and ends up with shit head. GREAT MESSAGE!
When did this all start? I think all of these movies portray woman as victims and have no control over who and what they want out of life. It like this retro version of hetro-relationships has been re branded and repackaged in Jimmy Choo's.

I need to clarify

I feel the need to clarify my last post. Part of the beauty of writing/blogging is that it takes a moment in time,a feeling in time and puts it to words/paper. I had said that,in the past, I had not been passionate about anything. In talking with friends, I realize that is not entirely correct. Why I have/am passionate about things, I realized that I have in the past had no outlet for it. Creatively. It was a message I received at a very young age that it was not OK. Who gave me that message? Not really sure. I remember as a child,loving music. Loving acting. I would watch the Carol Burnett Show and wished I could be a part of that. (I actually did write her a letter requesting to be on her show when I was 10,but that story is for another time) But I stifled that part of me and put it away. It was not OK. It just wasn't. And I feel for that little boy. In some ways, I was just trying to survive. This all goes back to life being lived and not endured. To be continued........