Friendships

Happy 4th to all! Hope everyone has a happy and safe one. We are doing the low-key version this year. Going to a movie and then I am making dinner. It's exactly what I am looking forward to. Low-key and quiet. At least inside our home. Can't promise what will happen later on the outside. Hopefully the dogs will not be too upset by evenings end.
So...........I am someone who holds onto relationships until the bitter end. Especially,as a gay man in my 40's, I find the friendships in my life are as important to me as my own family. I have a core group of friends that are like brothers and sisters. We have seen each other thru births,deaths,job loss,relationships beginning and ending. We have created our own family. When Owen came into my life,they were as welcoming as they could be. I have never felt that they have been anything but as loving to him as they have been to me. I am very fortunate.
Recently however(the past year or so), I felt like someone in that group has been pulling away. And this really bothers me. This is someone who I spoke to daily and who I have been friends with for more than a decade. And I truly have no idea why. But I have also realized that in some(not all)relationships in my life,if I am not the one making the effort,then things tend to slip away. A few years ago,I had a similar situation. I had been good friends with someone for almost 20yrs. I began to realize that I was the one making all the phone calls. I was coming by his place. I was setting up dinners. I also realize that he didn't have to do anything because I was doing all the heavy lifting. I decided to see what would happen if I stopped communication. If I didn't make the effort. We haven't spoken in 3 yrs. And you know what,that's ok. Maybe friendships run their course. Maybe people come in and out of your life for a reason. It might be as simple as that. In grade school, I was not popular(at all). And I spent alot of time in my head wishing I could be famous. Because then I would have all the friends I could ever want. AND THEN I WOULD BE HAPPY. So for better or worse,I am still in 5th grade.